I think it may hurt him that I’m dating but he doesn’t ask to be exclusive. Rationalizing. And I’m getting to where I can’t function at my job anymore. If you can’t shed any tears, you might wonder why you have trouble crying. You are normal. You try to argue away their concerns. You treat your partner's concerns as evidence of their irrational and distorted thinking. I've done it often enough as an ADHDer. "Why Can't You Be More Like XYZ?" And if they do hear you, they always disagree, right? Larissa. Say something like, "I'm feeling really upset right now. nikodash/Fotolia If someone in your life is upset, the last thing you want to do is compare them to another person who may or may not be better at handling conflict. Don’t assume that you know him better than he knows himself. But, it can’t be true, can it? “Why can’t I lose weight, Steve?” This question breaks my heart every time I hear it. I can’t count the number of times I’ve made assumptions about my husband. In my Watchman on the Wall column earlier this week, I wrote about how the atheist agenda wants you to turn your back on Christ.. As of Friday morning, there were 1,158 comments on the article. Keep reading to learn more about the medical and emotional reasons behind an inability to cry and how you can deal with it. If you do, you’re not alone. I know if I really were a bad person, then I wouldn’t feel horrible about my ‘episodes,’ I wouldn’t care about how I’m affecting others. When something upsets me and I talk to him about it, 99% of the time I am calm and respectful about it. Because you can't change what other people say or do, but you can change your reaction to them. It's OK! It is he that is misbehaving. I love him very much, but I am emotionally exhausted. No matter if I'm nervous, exited or ANYTHING, really. My husband and I have been married for almost 5 years. Jen. Talk to your husband. And I can’t keep pretending to care or like I’m not secretly ticked off and hurting inside just so I don’t upset her. Maybe you'll know why they're upset, or maybe you'll have no clue what you've done to hurt them. It was very traumatic (very different from my current situation caring for my mother). The official audio of "I'm Upset" by Drake from the album 'Scorpion'. I get the "I can't/don't want to talk about this now" line all the time from her. In reality, depression can take more forms than just a feeling of profound sadness. Make yourself laugh to improve your mood. Why are you making a big deal out of it?" So that you know, just because your husband acts like he is annoyed by you all of the time and you find yourself walking on egg shells, it does not necessarily mean you are the one at fault. I’m trying to learn how to draw, but I keep reading about how I need to use my “right side of the brain”. During the teen years, the connections and interactions with parents often become strained. While you may prefer to feign ignorance and wait for happy days to come again if your partner is hurt by something you've done, research shows that tackling the issue head-on is usually the best course of action. I didn't cry at first*, and could talk about it very rationally (not coldly, but without getting upset). Everything here was good advice, I just have to figure out how to talk to him. I’m patient, I’m calm, I’m quiet and reserved and I’m naturally a cold person. You can own your piece of it. Presuming “he should know” or giving vague hints or sulking doesn’t cut it. Post category: Healthy Relationships; Post author: Kristin Rosenthal, LPC “We’ve been together for 8 years, and over the last few years we’ve been steadily drifting apart. Having clamped down on a strong emotion, he is bound to feel the strain, the tension, of clamping down. Can't tell why I'm so upset My therapist emailed all her clients to say her fee is increasing $15, which is a lot. I can control how I respond to these feelings." I’m very confused by his actions. That is okay. It may be your husband has blown a gasket and is leaking all kinds of pent-up emotions. That led to me trying to talk to her for the final time and when she only lashed and and it escalated, I had to say I was done. Like he should know how specific actions make me feel. And I agree with the last person since a lot of the reason seems not to be only us but the guys. We keep having the same argument over and over, touched off by different things, and we only end up hurting each other. 9. https://www.teenvogue.com/story/what-texting-is-like-with-depression Whenever I try to communicate how something he does makes me feel, he gets angry and defensive. When I’m upset, I end up making myself look like a mean, angry, unkind person but that’s so far from the truth, although in the moment I believe I am horrible for acting that way. My personality can totally be described by the behavior of the left brain. What about kids? Get help. In a relationship, I would be the person to put a stop to it if things got too serious. I know this is an obvious point, but it needs to be said: if you need to say something, say it. I wouldn’t mind giving a relationship a chance but I don’t want to stop dating if he can’t open up to me about it bothering him. Because you may not be feeling particularly sad, you may think it can't possibly be depression. Do you have difficulty crying when you’re sad? Why are so many atheists so angry? Sometimes you feel like you just can't talk to your parents. Help me my boyfriend refuses to talk to me when hes angry or upset. Don’t make your loved one guess why you’re mad. And without that counselor loving under my roof to witness what he’s doing, he’ll do the same thing in there as he’s done with his family and mine, make everyone think our marriage is absolutely perfect! Some of those people are our 1-on-1 coaching clients, who we work closely with to uncover the truth.. And that’s what we’re after: the truth on why weight loss is so tough to achieve. 8 years ago. Often you are not. But every time I then try to let that anger out and start a practical I-hate-you-so-much-right-now speech I can't even get one sentence out, because I … Why Can’t I Seem To Please Him? And I hear it multiple times per day from frustrated people like yourself.. Writing thoughts down in the moment will help you examine them later when you’re in a calmer state of mind. Find a picture of something funny on your phone or on the … You may feel tired, low in energy, or lack in any real sense of joy without necessarily feeling sadness or being weepy. I feel like I can't talk to him. You can choose to not allow what they are saying or doing upset you. Should I initiate the conversation or just walk away? Glowering looks don’t move you towards getting what you need. I’m too much of a coward in anything I do or say. When Your Son or Daughter Stops Calling When 20-somethings cut off their parents, it's not always permanent. I'm getting worried, my thoughts go from him being annoyed with me to the possibility of him cheating on me. It also affects our intimate life, both in the obvious way in addition to the fact that I end up so upset about going it “alone” and going to bed alone every night etc., that even if it’s not the internet temptation, I’m just too upset that I have to come second to a device and wait for him to satisfy all the things he wants to do before he will see me/us. He just won’t talk to me for a few days. So, anytime you’re going to talk with your partner about something you’d like changed, start by reassuring her you’re okay as a couple. 8. 5. I bet they aren’t spending so much time thinking about you. However, I see myself as a very logical and rational person. She also said she's shifting her hours to obtain more balance for the fall season. A quick web search will bring up countless posts from people who just aren’t able to cry, even when in the throes of deep sadness. How To Respond When He Shuts You Out Don’t act like you’re the problem until he tells you that you are. Simply click here to find one now. And in the 8 months we didn’t speak, I looked back and saw a lot more, all the signs I ignored in the year I struggled in our friendship, all If your partner asks you what wrong, a hurtful answer is “You should know by now!” Just say it.   Your symptoms have developed slowly. (I’m sure it means a lot to our cats, Sassy and Buzi too, but they just can’t seem to thank him for it, so I make sure I do.) Neither does punishing him for things he doesn’t know of. I can’t … Counseling will not help because he won’t pay for it and I can’t afford it. You are trying to tell them that their feelings are not related to anything real or important. When I lose my voice, I'm basically Sandra Bullock in Gravity, untethered from the space ship that is humanity. Tell her you love her … I’m a computer programmer, science enthusiast and math lover. Why are you staying with someone who causes you so much upset and pain? DO tell him or her that you are upset, and what you are upset about. reply #7. In any kind of relationship with me, I’m a difficult person to deal with. I really want to talk to him about his lack of communication, but I can't even get in contact with him long enough to bring it up. So, the message they get is, "My feelings don't matter to you." 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